6th Grade Transition – A big and (sometimes) bumpy step!

Coming to middle school from the elementary schools is exciting and fun for most of our students. However, within all that excitement can also be a lot of anxiety, nerves, and tough times. By now, most of our sixth graders are past that first bout of nerves and know the ropes. They know their locker combinations, have their schedules memorized, know the layout of the school, and know the lunchroom and recess procedures. I think of those steps as the first phase of 6th grade survival. At this point, the second phase of 6th grade survival is creeping in and many of our 6th grade students are having growing pains.

Organization!

It is nearly impossible for kids to get through middle school with decent grades without an organization system. With seven different classes and seven different teachers there’s a lot to remember! At MMS we provide all students with a planner and we reiterate over and over its importance. ALL teachers at MMS write the day’s activities and any assigned homework on their white boards so that all students know what to write in their planners. Some kids are naturally organized and love the idea of a planner. These are the kids who have their planners with them at all times, every class is filled out (even PE), and they may have their assignments color coded. You know if this is your child. Then there are other students who think that the planner’s most important use is as a restroom pass. They can’t remember the last time they used their planner and think it may be in their locker underneath their science book, which incidentally hasn’t been taken to science class in two weeks. You know if this is your child.

Whether your child is the first scenario, the second, or somewhere in between, it’s important that YOU know about the planner. If you have a 6th grader who has not learned (or cares) about the importance of the planner, it’s a good idea for you to set up a check system at home. I’ve known some parents to create a calendar for planner checks. They’ve then checked their child’s planner every day at around the same time to see that it’s filled out. Some parents keep track of these checks and then assign small rewards or consequences to their child based on how successful with the planner he/she has been that week. How you choose to monitor your child’s planner is up to you and some kids need less monitoring than others. The point is that good organization leads to good grades.

Friendships on the Fritz!

Another problem that starts to rear its ugly head this time of year is the deterioration of long-time, elementary friendships. I start to see a lot of girls and boys in the 6th grade who can not understand why their best friend since 2nd grade now sits with a different crowd at lunch and doesn’t even acknowledge them during passing periods. This is a very common problem for 6th graders and is probably the one that causes them the most sadness. It’s difficult for kids not to have the closeness and comfort of their old friends when they’re trying to navigate the newness of middle school.

What can you tell your kids when they’re sad about changing friendships? First, it’s very important not to bad-mouth the old friends. With how quickly middle school friendships change, it’s very likely that the dissolved friendship will be better by the Halloween dance and you’ll feel sheepish when your child is trick-or-treating with somebody you called “mean and jealous.” I often tell kids that it’s ok that they’re taking a break from their best friends from elementary school. They can take this opportunity to make new friends and meet new people. I remind them that they probably didn’t always get along perfectly in elementary and that it’s very likely that they’ll find each other again down the road. The kids that are ditching their old friends are not “bad” kids. You can listen to your child and support him or her and stay objective at the same time. With all this being said, please remember that if you believe your child is being bullied (which is different than typical, age appropriate friendship drama) to please report it to the school and we will deal immediately with the situation.

Organization problems and friendship difficulties are two of the more common issues I see arising from our 6th graders. Sixth grade is just full of so much transition! Please feel free to use this blog to share stories about your 6th grader (past or present) or ask questions. Here are a couple of articles and websites if you’d like to read more about 6th grade transition:
http://www.statesmanjournal.com/article/20090819/COMMUNITIES/908190307/1107/WEST_SALEM
http://www.ericdigests.org/1999-2/middle.htm

Welcome to the first posting of The Counselor’s Corner!! I’m so excited to be starting this blog for the parents of Milliken Middle School. My hope is that it will serve as a place where I can discuss some of the more prevalent problems and issues I see with our middle school students as well as post articles and websites I find that can also shed some light on important topics. Additionally, I would love if this blog became a place that parents could visit for support from other parents. Adolescents can be a tricky animal and we as adults aren’t always sure what to say or do to help them through this confusing, hormonal, and rebellious time of self-discovery and change. Middle school is a great time for kids to get to know more about their own identities and values, but can also be lonely and extremely challenging. I hope parents will be able to come to this blog to share their stories and receive support from others parents grappling with similar situations.

You may be wondering how The Counselor’s Corner will work. Every month I will pick one topic that I feel is a prevalent issue affecting our kids (i.e. bullying/relational aggression, lack of organization/motivation, low self esteem, etc). I will share some of my thoughts and observations on each month’s topic as well as provide additional articles and websites that I hope will serve as helpful resources. All parents are invited to read this blog and respond with questions, suggestions, and stories. In doing this, parents will hopefully see that they are not alone!

If you have suggestions for specific topics you’d like to know more about, please don’t hesitate to let me know! I want this blog to be a place that you, as parents, receive the most relevant and informative insight into your middle schoolers. For confidentiality purposes, I will never use any student's name or give specific details about a situation when writing my posts. Similarly, you don't need to use your or your child's full name when commenting. Also, if you read a blog post and would rather discuss your questions and concerns with me in person, please feel free to contact me at school via phone (587-6349) or email (bhilgers@weldre5j.k12.co.us)

Have a great school year!