Helping Kids Who Cut

Over the last decade or so, the prevalence of kids who cut themselves has increased greatly. Though studies show that both kids and adults, males and females, are vulnerable to this kind of self-harm, cutting is most common among adolescent girls. At Milliken Middle School, I have talked with both girls and boys in all three grade levels who look to cutting for, more or less, the same reasons. In this post I will address why kids cut, what the warning signs are, and how we can help them out of this unhealthy behavior.

Why Kids Cut

In everything that I have read about cutting and all that I have observed with adolescents who self-harm, there is generally one prevalent reason that kids turn to cutting: they can control it. Regardless of what they are going through (divorce, abuse, depression, poverty, etc), if kids are cutting themselves it usually means they experience some amount of satisfaction with the ability to control the situation. They can control when the cutting starts, how long or deep the cut goes, and when the pain stops. Kids who cut often have no control over the emotional pain in their lives and cutting fills this void. It’s important to know that kids who cut DO NOT necessarily entertain suicidal thoughts.

Some studies have shown that kids who are feeling depressed or consistently melancholy will cut themselves for “high” feelings they have afterwards. This kind of self-harm causes the brain to produce endorphins, which are chemicals that allow us to feel good. Some kids get addicted to this feeling and believe they have no way to feel good in their lives other than when they’re cutting themselves.

Finally, some kids who cut (although not the majority) are neither depressed nor going through intense emotional pain. These kids cut because they believe it will gain them attention from peers (even if it’s negative) or because they want to create a certain edgy self-image. Often, cutting is a fad for these kids and the behavior may be more short-lived than it is with the other population.

Warning Signs

• Cut or burn marks (including scars) on arms, legs,
abdomen, feet, etc.
• Cutting instruments, e.g., razors, knives, pins/needles
found among your child’s belongings
• Friends or peers are cutting themselves
• Wearing long pants and long-sleeve shirts consistently
(even in warmer weather)
• Blood stains on clothing
• Regularly seeking isolation and privacy when emotionally
distraught or depressed

How to Help a Kid Who Cuts

If you suspect that your child is cutting him or herself, it’s important that you talk to him or her immediately to seek the truth. Rather than abrasively confronting your child, calmly explain your concerns and ask to see his or her arms and legs (the most common areas for kids to cut themselves). If you find evidence of cutting, seek professional help immediately. Most individuals who cut themselves do so for intensely personal and painful reasons and will mostly likely need the help of a counselor to work through these issues. If you discover that your child is cutting, please call me and I would be happy to work with him or her. If it is a serious case of self-harm, I also often refer parents to local resources that are trained in assisting adolescents who cut themselves.

For more reading on this topic, visit the following links:
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/help_cutting.html
http://hubpages.com/hub/What_Parents_Need_to_Know_About_Cutting_